My Indian tradition teachers regularly talked about the various aches and pains associated with the process of spiritual unfoldment The Tibetan Buddhist teachers with whom I have studied never do.

I asked a Nyingma-pa friend if her root Lama ever talks about longing. I was surprised to learn that her teacher considers longing to be the essential capacity of a practitioner. But he never mentions this in public. My friend wasn’t sure why this is.

Longing is a wide and deep topic. I’ve written about it many times here on Living Tantra. Emotional pain is also an unavoidable aspect of unfoldment. We feel and recognize emotional pain in new ways when we begin to become more familiar with our real condition. This often happens because our teacher provokes us and functions as a precise mirror in which all of our fixations become painfully visible.

What I want to talk about today are the grosser manifestations of spiritual birth pains: spiritual “flus,” stabbing pains, irregular pulses, exhaustion, and the like.

“Birth” is the key to all of these pains. When we are practicing consistently, we are literally making ourselves available to a rebirthing process. This birth is not metaphorical. As a result of spiritual unfoldment, our form of embodiment, our body chemistry, our perceptions, and our way of moving, feeling, and sensing in the world will change, sometimes quite radically.

The American Tantrik, Swami Rudrananda, or “Rudi,” often wrote about the pains that he experienced when his way of being in the world was undergoing great change. During these time, he tried to remain quiet and inactive so that he could relax deeply and allow the process to complete without too much interference.

I have been advised not to treat spiritual birth pains with painkillers, or even with some forms of naturpathic medicine. The entire system is undergoing a shift, and deeply relaxing is the best way to participate.

Once during a particularly turbulent period, I went to a Chinese medical doctor. He examined me, and I could tell from his expression that he was quite alarmed at my condition. However, his understanding was limited to a disease perspective. He was not able to work on any other level.

The doctor I have now is himself an accomplished spiritual practitioner. He can participate on that level and assist to help changes happen more smoothly. And he knows when to back off.

In the normal course of sadhana, nearly everyone experiences some imbalances that show up as physical discomfort. A good way to orient yourself correctly to these events is to think of how difficult it is for many people to sit in a meditation posture when they are just beginning.

But one day, even a beginner might notice that all of the pains of sitting have simply disappeared. Then, the next day the pains are back. Eventually, they go away for good. We know this is not just a matter of the muscles stretching out because the pain can disappear for periods of time even when a person is relatively new on the path.

Pain is a symptom of limitation in the physical body, the energy body, and the wisdom body. These three are all expressions of the same body. In some moment, even a beginner may experience the relaxation of limitation. This comes and goes until relaxation has taken place and stabilized on more subtle levels.

For more aggressive, “heroic” practitioners, unaccustomed exhaustion can also be a signal that relaxation is occurring. Of course, most people in contemporary society are exhausted. The first “spiritual” experience that many people have is just to notice how exhausted they really are.

When we are going through an opening, it is normal to experience a kind of sea sickness. We are literally opening to wisdom, to embodied understanding. Our View is enlarging and the opening of the gates of perception can cause a temporary feeling of illness as when one is unaccustomed to travel on the open sea.

The more sudden a change in one’s condition, the more likely it is that pain will occur. Careful preparation under the guidance of a skillful teacher minimizes the chance that one will experience significant pain. Correct View is the foundation.

We come to spiritual practice with certain imbalances in our five elements. Our practice must be specifically tailored to address these imbalances and avoid causing real harm to ourselves. A great deal of insight, experience, and discernment is necessary. For 99.9% of us, a teacher is absolutely required if we hope to progress and not fall into fantasy and unnecessary encounters with health imbalances.

There are several famous published accounts of the rise of kundalini by people who were apparently quite unprepared. Unfortunately, the experiences recounted in these books have been taken for the norm. Now, there are even many people who believe these extreme experiences are desirable signs of spiritual growth. They are not.

Various website discussion groups are filled with people experiencing illnesses that are uniformly attributed to kundalini rising. These situations of real suffering are not a matter for conjecture, wishful thinking, or peer counseling. I can tell you as someone who has been guided by teachers who have devoted their entire lives to spiritual practice that there is no substitute for understanding gained in this way.

During the course of my sadhana, I have experienced some more severe symptoms such as fever and heart irregularities. It is not out of the question that a person could die if gross disease is incorrectly attributed to spiritual practice, or if practice is done incorrectly without proper guidance. I am extremely grateful to my teachers for assisting me in these times, particularly for assisting me to have a correct View of such episodes.

Practitioners sometimes become attached to uncomfortable symptoms, or just to any manifest physical sensations that arise during the course of practice. Attachment is the most pervasive pitfall. Anything we are attached to becomes an obstacle. Constantly remember this, and you are well on your way home.

In Matriseva,
Shambhavi

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